|
It is hard to find purpose in the normal routines of daily living
when we know that thousands of Americans are grieving the loss of
their loved ones. And it is nearly impossible to regain a sense of
safety and security when we repeatedly hear talk of retaliation and
war. There are no easy answers, but there are ways we can minimize
the trauma and stress of this difficult time.
- Know that your reactions are normal and there
is no one "normal" reaction. Though there are
common threads, all of us are unique in our emotional responses
to traumatic events. We respond mentally and emotionally based on
our worldview and our life experiences. A person who has recently
lost a loved one may primarily feel enormous grief. A survivor of
the attack on Pearl Harbor may feel intense anger. A friend asked
me, "Am I the only one who is scared to death?" Stress
reactions worry us and often lead us to fear that we have lost our
minds. Whatever you are feeling and no matter how horrible the feeling
is, remember that you are having a normal reaction to an
extremely abnormal event and that this is a shared experience.
- Talk with your children. Children
may have exaggerated or minimal reactions, immediate or delayed.
They may experience sleep or eating disturbances, difficulty concentrating,
or physical complaints. Younger children may revert to earlier,
more clinging behaviors in an effort to regain a sense of security
- allow them to do this. Listen to their feelings without judging
them or trying to change them. Keeping in mind the age of the child,
answer his or her questions as simply and honestly as you can. It
is okay for your children to know that you are upset, but reassure
them that we are all working together to be safe and return to normalcy.
For yourself and your children, limit the amount of time you watch
media coverage so that you do not lose perspective. Constant exposure
tends to either heighten or minimize the sense of horror and danger
so that it either feels like the end of the world or feels unreal,
like you are watching a movie.
- Refrain from using your anger to fuel hate and
intolerance. Remember that the overwhelming majority
of Muslim people abhor terrorism and are in no way responsible for
this tragedy. There are multitudes of people of mid-Eastern descent
who live in and love this country, who are grieved and angered by
the event.
- Focus on the silver lining. Words
cannot express how moved I am by the demonstrations of bravery,
generosity, compassion, and unity in the American people. I think
of the rescue workers, performing endless hours of grueling and
grizzly work with little thought for their own safety. I think of
the flood of donations from rich and poor alike. I think of the
way families and neighbors have come together, disputes forgotten.
There seem to be no differences, whether ethnic, religious, or political,
that are greater than the spirit of this nation and its resolve
to unite
The American Red Cross has just issued three very helpful publications
to help Americans in the wake of this tragedy: "When Bad Things
Happen," "Helping Young Children Cope With Trauma,"
and "How Do I Deal With My Feelings?" If you would like
a copy of any or all three publications, call me at the Washington
County Mental Health and Addiction Recovery Board (374-6990) or the
Washington County chapter of the American Red Cross (373-0281).
May we take this moment to remember what really matters in life
and to know that love and goodness are still more plentiful and powerful
than hate and destruction.
|
